Still on Chpt. 9.

Ok so I’m having this issue. It’s somewhat silly maybe but I’m still having it. When is a chapter too long? I mean…I keep talking about what chapter I’m editing now but I have a feeling 12 of them is sort of a small number? I dunno.

I’m feeling anxious I think. With the few edits I have penned out for chapter 9, I’ll move on to the last 3 chapters basically. Large chapter, perhaps, I mean each of them is like a short story lol, but still…that would mean I’m getting close to the really scary part of taking my novel by hand and trying to find a spot for it in the book world.  So ok I’ll admit I’m sort of…uhm…scared. As a fabulous writer who’s active in publishing told me, dropping queries sort of feels like dropping bombs. I mean…I keep reading my query draft (yes, I am working on drafts of that too…) and thinking ok…would I want to review this book if someone sent me this blurb? Would I want to read it? Am I saying yes because, well, I wrote it? Gaaah!!

I’m having more of that reading mood anyway lately. They always alternate, reading moods and writing moods. When I’m on a reading spree I can ravage like 3 books a day. Seriously, when I mean business I mean business. Which makes me think maybe my writing is flopping in the last week or so because I’m getting scared enough to want to put the inevitable off. I don’t even know what scares me, I want to share this story, I want to tell it, I want people to go through it and critique and shred it to pieces. Well I’d like them to love it but, you know, minus that, lol… I want all these things, I really do. They’d mean feedback and progress. Right?…

I hate spring, have I mentioned that? Yeah, I hate it. I really do. I’m also born in spring, more accurately in May, could that have anything to do with my dread of spring? Meh. I’ll be 25 this spring. To me that sounds like so much time. I’ve lived so much time, haven’t I? A quarter of a century. And I just started trying to accomplish my dream something like 1 year ago. So why am I wasting time instead of working like a possessed woman for it?…

I pumped myself up with this post, lol. On to finish editing chapter 9. I should have made this post like 5 days ago, lol.

*makes Speedy Gonzales dash out*

Posted in confessions of a wanna-be author, I'm revising, I'm writing, the dare

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